The Bible According to Jackson Ferrell: the Rest of the Torah, the Histories, and the Prophets

Jacob’s descendants were called the Israelites, because God had given Jacob the name “Israel.” In Egypt, the Israelites had babies. And after Joseph and the former Pharaoh were long dead, there were so many Israelites that the new Pharaoh enslaved them and tried to kill all their male babies. One of the male babies was named Moses, and his family saved him from death by sending him down the Nile River in a basket, where Pharaoh’s daughter found him and had him raised in the Egyptian palace.

Exodus 25 – How to Build the Ark of the Covenant

If anyone ever tells you that the Bible is outdated and has no application for modern life, just point them to Exodus 25 through 29. You’ll find these chapters immediately relevant whenever you have to build a furnished replica of the tabernacle and outfit the priests to offer sacrifices in it. All sarcasm aside, though, you may come away from these chapters wondering not only what they have to do with your life, but also what they even describe. They don’t have any helpful illustrations, and they’ve been translated for us English speakers from a several-thousand-years-old instance of a foreign language, so don’t be surprised if they’re less clear than Ikea instructions.